(This is an actual screenshot that I took during my social experiment… Gotta love it!)
While trying to think of a blog post that would both interest my readers as well as give me a challenge, I figured that I might as well subject myself to public ridicule… cuz why not? It’s already a constant joke about just how single I am, so this was an easy decision.
Just for the sake of assuming that somebody doesn’t know what Tinder is, let me explain. It’s the most popular (free) dating app at the moment, where users can set up their profiles with pictures from Facebook and also have a bio/short description of themselves and theme song. You get to swipe left if you are not interested in the other person (based off of looks and what their profile says) or right if you are interested. If the other user also swiped right when they saw your profile, then you two will match and be able to message one another. Pretty simple. A tad shallow, but simple.
If you ask any single millennial if they have ever had a Tinder profile (even if it was for a couple of days) and they say no, then there is a 98% chance that they’re lying. The times have definitely changed. I personally know a handful of friends that are in wonderful relationships with people that they’ve met through this app. I also know others that have flings with people they’ve met. As for me, of course I’ve had a profile on there before. It’s mindless entertainment to swipe left and right at pictures. Sue me. I have downloaded this app on several occasions over the years when I was bored late at night, and I’ve actually met a few great (yes, guy…) friends through this app in the past. Granted, the app usually gets deleted within a week after I download it each time, but whatever. It is what it is.
Just a note: I’ve never actually met anybody I’ve become acquainted with through this app. I don’t know how some of ya’ll have done it… I’ve seen too many serial killer documentaries, I suppose…
This time around, I figured I would share the things that I have seen or experienced within a week’s time of using this app. You’re welcome. (These are simply my opinions)
My observations between 12/13/2016-12/20/2016:
1. First, let’s talk pictures. I didn’t know that bathroom mirror selfies were still a thing. And what’s with the half naked ones where the towel is super low? Like comeeee onnnn… I guess this a for-sure way of weeding through the people that just want flings? Who knows. But it’s absurd. Also, if your pictures include other women draping all over you, that’s a red flag. Kids in your pictures are also red flags (for those of us that don’t want to be step-mommies yet). Avoid the confusion and simply avoid these types of pictures. Oh, and pictures with bloody bucks that you’ve shot aren’t attractive… They just make me sad. Poor Bambi. I also came across a picture of a guy who had a gun pointing towards the camera. Like, what? How did he think that would be a good idea? It was creepy. And if you’re prettier than me, I don’t even bother. Ya’ll know who you are. (Sidenote: Pictures with kids can also be super cute if you say in your bio that they’re your nieces/nephews. Also, dog pictures… you can’t go wrong with dog pictures…)
2. Guys that show initiative and message first are cool. The ones that can actually hold conversations are the real MVPs, though.
3. I swear, getting asked what I do for fun makes me sound like such a boring person… (“Um… I enjoy sleeping? And doing community theatre?”) I do love cheesy (and not inappropriate..) pick-up lines, though. They make me happy.
4. I wish I could contact some of these guys’ mamas. Some of them are so perverted and disrespectful. That’s all I’ll say about that.
5. Not everybody is on Tinder for hookups. There are actually a lot of people on there that have figured that this app is a good last resort for finding somebody they’re compatible with for a relationship. It’s nice knowing that I’m not the only one that is still alone. Haha.
6. Never under-estimate a girl’s ability to find out information. There are a bunch of military guys on there. The app automatically gives out your name and age. If your uniform says your last name, then you’ve made it entirely too easy for us to check up on how you conduct yourself on social media. Easy peasey. Having your Instagram accounts connected to your Tinder account also makes it easy on us.
7. Speaking of how you conduct yourself on social media (and also the pictures that were previously discussed), any pictures that are on your Tinder account had to be taken off of your Facebook account (because it’s linked up). If there are pictures of you flicking off the camera or smoking blunts, that’s an automatic swipe left. The teeny tiny percentage of 0.009% that we may hit it off and actually date and thus allow my family to see what you post on Facebook would literally ruin you… I’m just looking out for the both of us by dodging bullets early.
8. Honestly, I think most people are on this app because they’re lonely and/or bored. Some people enjoy having random conversations with other individuals that they’ve never met before. Heck, that’s my favorite part. I’ve made so many new friends who I wouldn’t have met otherwise. Some I have on Snapchat, others I have on Facebook… and some are just random conversation buddies for a couple of days until the conversations fade off. It’s kinda cool.
9. One person could be a country boy from the other side of the county, then I could see a frat guy at ECU, then I could see an engineer that lives in Raleigh, then I could see a Marine, then an airman, then a guy that I used to go to high school with (quick left swipe!)… the possibilities are endless. So many different groups of people are represented on this app! And a lot of them have something along the lines of “Let’s not tell my parents that we met on Tinder” in their bios. I wonder how many relationships actually formed from this app that people lie about… hmmm…
10. While it’s dandy being reminded on a daily basis that I’m single and that a good portion of my options suck (let’s be honest here.. they do.. see #4), it’s not enough of a reason for me to stay consistent on this app. I’m literally the worst user ever. I ignore the app for close to 24 hours, reply back, swipe around for ten or so minutes, and then forget about it again until the next night. Yeah, I can’t seem to find a guy that I like enough to date in real life because of my schedule and also because I don’t like the bar-vibe. Andddd I guess that online/app dating isn’t for me, either, because I’m super spacey with it. So, with all of that said, that leaves me single. However, I’m content with that. It’s a good thing I like cats.
Now that this social experiment is over, your girl is deleting this app now… well, until I get bored in mid-March, right?